You Lost Me
by FetishFemme
Summary: 12 months ago, Edward left Harry to keep him "safe", leaving three people to pick up the pieces. Edward realizes his mistakes and tries to right it, but a lot can happen in a year and the story is far from over... Sucky summary, actually read :D VampireWizardLvr 3 M for a reason
1. Chapter 1

Romance and Angst; Rated M for mature situations such as violence (maybe torture) sex (slash and het!), and delectable naughties!

A/N:: WE'RE BACK BABY! Well... I'm back. I am FetishFemme, formerly known as VampireWizardlvr... don't ask, it's a long story but a very vague version is on my profile biography. I'm happy to be back, but I'm so behind on all my stories. Sorry guys, I bet you thought I abandoned them :/ I'm in the middle of a cross-country relocation and lots of other painful, troubling conflicts. It all makes me wanna VOMIT with emotion.  
Word Count: 3255  
Submitted: 7-10-2012  
Rated M for mature situations such as violence (maybe torture) sex (slash and het!), and delectable naughties!  
Chapter 1/Prologue pt 1 and 2: Pictures of You/I will wait for you  
This chapter is based on the song Pictures Of You by The Cure

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you  
And I almost believe that they're real  
I've been living so long with my pictures of you  
That I almost believe that the pictures are  
All I can feel

Remembering you standing quiet in the rain  
As I ran to your heart to be near  
And we kissed as the sky fell in, holding you close  
How I always held close in your fear

Remembering you running soft through the night  
You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow  
And screamed at the make-believe, screamed at the sky  
And you finally found all your courage to let it all go

Remembering you falling into my arms  
Crying for the death of your heart  
You were stone white, so delicate  
Lost in the cold  
You were always so lost in the dark  
Remembering you how you used to be  
Slow drowned  
You were angels so much more than everything  
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly  
Open my eyes but I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words  
I could have held on to your heart  
If only I'd thought of the right words  
I wouldn't be breaking apart  
All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you  
But I never hold on to your heart  
Looking so long for the words to be true  
But always just breaking apart  
My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world  
That I ever wanted more  
Than to feel you deep in my heart  
There was nothing in the world  
That I ever wanted more  
Than to never feel the breaking apart  
All my pictures of you

Even though he was eternally sleepless, Edward had so many dreams of what used to be. The angelically handsome transfer student he met at school. The tentative beginning to their romantic relationship. The way Harry smiled at him with slightly pink lips and sparkling emerald eyes before leaning up to kiss him sweetly. Through out the entire relationship, Alice practically followed the couple consisting of seventeen year old around with a camera, snapping pictures at parties, on dates, at family dinners. And they are all right here. All 273 pictures were scattered across the couch in his room, some were Polaroid, some were cut up into hearts, some were triangles, some were circles, some were torn in halve when Edward's anger got the best of him. But they were all there, regardless.

Edward regretted it all. He broke Harry's heart just because Edward had - has - an uncontrollable monster complex. Edward was depressed, he barely listened to music anymore, he didn't paint, he never enjoyed the nature around him while hunting, he never left his solitude for long. His family was worried, he was starting to worry. He put the pictures down: Harry kissing his cheek, Edward and Harry splashing each other in a lake, Harry in Edward's baseball uniform, the couple holding hands, Harry in front of a birthday cake with the surrounding Cullen family. He got up and walked over to his ivory-coloured piano, it was sleek and modern-looking, it played like a dream.

He would sit and play. He would sit and play a song that Harry didn't love. Of course, that rules out all the songs he wrote for Harry, all of Dubussy, all of Tallywood String Quartet, the intricate works of Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, and Mozart. Well... Edward supposed that he would just have to write something as he went along. It had been nearly a year since he'd played music, but it's hard to be rusty when you've been practicing for over 100 years. He sat at the piano bench carefully, splaying his fingers across the keys. He slowly began to play a song he's never heard, it was slow, hesitant, with a sub-par melody. He lost himself in the music for a moment or two, but a harshly sour note brought him back to reality.

He messed up. He hit the wrong note. He hadn't done that in over a century. He knew what he was missing. He needed Harry. Harry was his muse. Every thing was all wrong. He had to call Carlisle, apologize to Esme and Alice, stop being rude to Rosalie, buy Emmet video game to make all forgiven, feel better to help Jasper deal with the over bearing emotions. They had to pack up and go.

He had to go back to Forks.

A/N:: Okay, so I decided to combine both prologues, the first one was too short for my tastes.

Prologue pt 2- inspired by I Wait For You by Connie Francis (really listen to the song while reading, it makes it all the more poetic and haunting)

If it takes forever, I will wait for you.  
For a thousand summers, I will wait for you.  
Till you're back beside me, till I'm holding you,  
Till I hear you sigh here in my arms.

Anywhere you wander, anywhere you go,  
Every day remember how I love you so.  
In your heart believe, what in my heart I know  
That forevermore I'll wait for you.

The clock will tick away the hours one by one,  
Then the time will come when all the waiting's done,  
The time when you return and find me here and run,  
Straight to my waiting arms.

If it takes forever, I will wait for you.  
For a thousand summers, I will wait for you.  
Till you're here beside me, till I'm touching you,  
And forevermore sharing your love.

Till you're here beside me, till I'm touching you,  
And forevermore, I will wait for you.

All he could remember was screaming: The yellow grin of Fenrir Greyback illuminated by candle-light, the only company he had at midnight in the lonely cell he was trapped in all those weeks ago. "You have no idea how much I want to bite your pretty face." He'd leer softly, eyes glinting with a sick desire to harm him. The boy, known for his lightning scar and blindingly stunning emerald eyes, would cower into the darker shadows, silently awaiting the agony to come. He'd allow a few whimpers to slip through his lips as Fenrir's nails sunk into his abdomen shallowly, blood pooling around the indents he left. This was worse than the Cruciatis, the humiliation and starvation the Dursley's put him through, the pain he felt when...

Harry Potter turned 18 years old that day, when Fenrir could no longer hold back. No, the werewolf did not bite his pretty face, the werewolf did not bite him at all, but he certainly had his way with him. No, he didn't rape him, but if he had held on any longer... it would have happened. No, Fenrir had Harry all to himself. Fenrir like to hear his screams. That's all he could remember... screams. Until he died, that is. He was minutes from death and those were the clearest moments he could look back at. In retrospect, they were the best moments he had of his time there.

Harry sat propped against the wall like a boneless pile of rags. Blood dripped from his head, drenching his fringe to his forehead, the sleek liquid running down the crevices of his face: into his eyes, down the curves of his broken nose, his soft lips, down the barely pulsing, pale throat. His nose was broken, as was his arm, twisting at a horrifying angle. He was practically beyond feeling pain. His vision was clouding slightly, his ear drums were thrumming, his heart was slowing down. It was almost peaceful. Almost.

He heard quickening footsteps, probably the remaining death eaters rushing to his aide. They didn't want him to die for a long time, they made that clear every time they healed his deadly wounds. They'd hold him under the Cruciatis for hours on end, and then let him be when he was on the brink of divine madness. The quick footsteps came to a halt, Harry didn't even care anymore. He heard familiar voices, but that meant nothing to him, he's grown well acquainted with the condescendingly aristocratic drawl of Lucius Malfoy and the guttural snarls of Fenrir.

"-is he even alive?" he heard a female ask.

"Yes." murmured a sweet baritone, "I can hear his heart beat. We must act in haste if we are to save the boy."

"We have to hurry!"squealed the woman . "Albus will roll over in his grave in we don't save Harry!"

"Quiet Nymphadora, this has to be executed very quickly." said a deep, thundering voice.

"Shut up, Kingsley," said Tonks.

"Both of you shut up!" snapped the last voice, considerably younger than the other three. Very familiar actually... Draco?

"Did he just speak?" Draco said shakily.

"Speak back." said Kingsley.

"H-harry? Are you okay, baby?" Draco said, lowering himself so he could sit next to Harry. "Speak to me."

"Th-th-that was a-a dumb ques," cough! "question." Harry muttered absently, letting his head droop to the side, nudging Draco's shoulder.

A blurry figure stooped low so he could meet eyes with Harry. "Harry, this is Professor Snape, the last of the death eaters here have been exterminated. Do you trust me?"

"Y-yes." Harry muttered softly, seeing black dots decorate his vision. Draco gently moved away from Harry, getting up to his knees.

"You will be okay." Severus whispered, using his hand to gently push back the matted fringe from the half-dead beauty, Harry's half-lidded eyes just barely met Severus's, just before Severus and Draco descended on him, fangs bared. Then came the screaming again. Then everything went black.

Harry Potter, age 19, had only three people in his life that made it worth while. He had a beautiful two year old baby, as the god-father and legal guardian of Ted "Teddy" Remus Lupin, a cute metamorphagus who is a terrorizing terror on the full moon. His favorite appearance is blue shaggy hair and Harry's emerald eyes with alabaster skin. He raised the baby with his husband, Severus Snape, whom he happen to entangle himself with during an accidental bout of playful banter, during his convalescing stage, and his already best friend, Draco Malfoy.

"So," Harry said softly, "I'm a vampire."

"Yes, Potter." Severus said somberly, "You can live forever if time permitted it, you can move with ultimate grace, speed, and strength, you may feed on either animals or humans." His words broke off as Harry stared at him with an incredulous look on his face, "Look, Potter, I-"

"Harry." Harry said shortly, surprise still plastered on his face.

"I beg your pardon?" Severus said, thinking he'd misunderstood.

"Harry. Call me Harry, you've drunken my blood, I think it's appropriate to initiate a first name basis"

"Very well... Harry, I will not pretend I have control over you. You may choose to feed on people, though in retrospect, your hero complex would not allow such an atrocity, or you may feed on animals, something that is not an easy task. If you choose to feed on animals, then you will always be hungry, you will relapse and feed on a person in the beginning, you will struggle with it,but it seems the option you would choose is the latter."

"Y-yeah, the latter." Harry said dejectedly. Severus arched an eyebrow, though his face was lacking his trademark disgust.

"Do you know what latter means?" Severus asked quietly, voice void of any venom but filled with curiosity.

"Not really." Harry admitted with equal volume, "I know, I know." He said irritatedly, before Severus could form a proper response, "Stupid Potter as ignorant as his father ever was. I'm an idiot, I don't need you to confirm it a thousand times."

"I was actually going to tell you what it meant." Severus said smoothly, careful to not let any defensive tones ooze into his voice, "It basically keeps you from repeating unnecessary phrases when presented with two options, the latter representing the second choice and the former the first." he paused before continuing. "Harry, I know I have not made your life easy-"

"Like you could control Voldemort." Harry snorted before he could think about it.

"Hush, brat," Severus said, almost playfully, before sobering into a more serious tone, "Voldemort aside, I contributed to the challenges of your life and I apologize. It was not a role I too willingly played. "

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, eyes burning with curiosity.

"It means curiosity killed the cat and if you continue asking more questions, you will die." His not-at-all-scathing remark was met with mutual laughter after a moment of slightly awkward silence, it melted the thick tension for a measurable amount of time. "In all seriousness, it means I had a job that required me to be very harsh and cruel."

"So now that you don't have this job, you're allowed to show your secret marshmallow-y side?"

"Yes, Potter, on the inside I am an overstuffed bag of muggle treats."

"Harry-"

"Hush. I was saying so in jest. Of course I am not a marshmallow."

"I think you're taking me too literally on the marshmallow bit."

"After this back-and-forth, one would think that you've learned about speaking out of turn."

"You hush me?"

"Redundantly so."

And they just got closer and privately cuter after that. Draco and Harry, however, took a lot more work. Lots of arguments and duels took place. In the long run, they all worked as a dysfunctional family. Harry was slowly adapting to the life of a vampire but used several glamors in public because vampires were seen as very dark creatures and were held in the same regards as werewolves, dementors, and other seemingly evils.

Harry, present day Harry, loved kissing Severus. It made him feel nice, like he would never be betrayed again. And he had his own privacy to do it all he wanted. Well, until Teddy woke up and Draco interrupted them. Now was one of those times, Severus was laying back on the loveseat in their room, while Harry straddled the older man's legs, naked, and secured his arms around his neck, their lips moved to their own accord. It was sexy. Their tongues dueled, almost knowingly, knowing Harry would submit himself completely to Severus in the end. Severus's black slacks were tented and Harry's unclothed erection rubbed against it. Nimble hands caressed the zipper of the slacks teasingly before slowly sliding it down, freeing the well-endowed man from his cotton prison. There was no rush. They both knew they would be uninterrupted today.

Soon enough, both were completely naked. Severus had had enough with the loveseat and half-carried Harry to their bed, dumping him unceremoniously on the bed, much to Harry's amusement, before pouncing on his again. Harry tangled his hands into the silken hair, thrusting up, in desperate need of more friction, pressing kisses to his lover's face, knowing it gave him much pleasure.

"S-severus, I need you?" he begged.

"For what?" Severus asked, lowering his head to kiss the crook of his neck.

"Please. I need you inside me!" Harry begged.

"Shhhhh." Severus whispered, muttering a quick lubrication spell and thrusting his fingers in and out roughly, urged on by Harry's mewls and pleasure-filled whimpers. He pulled his fingers out, ignoring the groan escaping Harry's lips. "Ssshh." he muttered again, holding his cock up to push through the tight ring of muscles, slowly pushing his way in as Harry moaned like the wanton lover he was. He was fully sheathed and waited a moment for Harry to get used to the intrusion, he kissed the kiss-swollen lips of his younger lover, noticing his ever increasing impatience. Harry's muscles clenched around Severus's cock and Severus let out a low moan. He thrust shallowly, waiting for the gasp of pleasure as he hit a certain spot.

"Ahhh," Harry moaned, throwing his head back into the pillows as Severus thrust in and out of his lover, bending his head down to kiss Harry's neck messily. All that could be heard were wet kisses, skin slapping against skin, and loud moans. Pulling out slightly, Severus ran his fingers down Harry's sides and pushed back in, wringing an unadulterated moan out of his lithe husband.

"So fucking tight…How do you manage to feel like this is your first time every time?" Severus grunted, Harry shook his head slightly, unable to complete any word he attempted to utter. Harry made soft moaning noises as Severus brought his hand down to fist his lover's erection, Harry's back arched as he gasped loudly.

"Ahhh, Sev! I'm gonna- I-"

"Come, baby," he grunted, snapping his hips forward, aiming for his prostate. Harry let out a cry and came all over his stomach, feeling Severus fill his insides with his own climax. Harry almost sobbed with release as Severus stroked the wildy untamed hair of his husband. There was silence, except for panting, then all of a sudden, a loud knock was heard on their bedroom door, causing Severus to jolt slightly, accidentally pulling out of Harry very quickly, who hissed in slight pain at the sudden movement. "Sorry, love," Severus muttered, looking at the door before looking to see Harry, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." he smiled, kissing Severus' nose. "Who is it?" he yelled at the door.

"Who do you think?" Yelled Draco, " Can I come in or what?"

"No!" Severus growled, "What happened to our deal?"

"Yeah!" Harry echoed, "You promised you wouldn't be back from shopping 'til 7 tonight!"

"I need some extra clothes for Teddy!" Draco shouted through the door, "he spit up!"

Harry yelped worriedly, pulling a blanket around his waist, he rushed to the dresser to pull out an outfit for Teddy, nearly tripping on his way to the door. Severus sighed, shaking his head with a smile on his face. The family life never made him bored or put a frown on his face, that's for sure. An hour later, Harry was lounging on the a silky-soft, moonstone-coloured couch, leaning heavily on his Potions Master. A spit-up free, freshly bathed and clothed Teddy snuggled perfectly into Harry's chest, lost in sleep, and Draco was sitting on the cream carpet next to his shoping bags, filing his nails in a "very manly fashion", as the blonde so irritatingly insisted.

It was the perfect family portrait.

For now.

A/N: first sex scene, good or no? Reviews are my cookies, even though I'm on a diet (I'm a total lard-ass!). So... reviews are my tingling lubrication! (y'know the kind of lube that makes those tingling sensations ALL over you ;D)


	2. Chapter 2

dear Rat3000- Oh this story will be an absolute delight when it comes to surprises :) At the moment, updates will a bit slow because I'm on vacation and don't have regular access to a computer. Buuut, once i get home, updates will be steadily happening until i relocate to another state :/ but then i will be updating faster than bunnies repopulating :D

my dearest KkbkGreat- No, it wasn't at all mean! If I was going that way, I'd be concerned as well. Severus will absolutely not die, NO ONE will be immediately forgiven and forgotten. Harry will have ACTUAL emotional complexity and be a developed character. and this will in no way be predictable, if I can help it.

dear guest, guest, and sexyassassin666: all will show in due time ;)

All these reviews on Day 1! If I get to 20 soon, I will reward you with the plot twist ;) it will be simply surprising, unless you've read the original draft on my old account (VampireWizardlvr), but even then, I'm taking it a new direction. I love you guys already! This will be a divine adventure. Don't forget to check out my other stories: Spicy Snow, On the First Page of Our Story, and Rockin' in My Head :) I will send you chocolates if you review each one. THE SUMMARY AND WARNINGS WILL ONLY BE POSTED ON THE FIRST CHAPTER, YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO, IF ANYTHING NEW OR UNEXPECTED SHOW UP OR THERE IS A SEX SCENE IN A CHAPTER, THEN I WILL WARN BUT OTHERWISE... ONLY WARNING.

You guys have no idea how torturous it is to draw this out!

"We have to go back and see Harry." Edward said, thinking it was best just to drop the bomb bluntly.

"Wait- wait- wait." Emmet said, stopping his fast-paced chase of a wild eyed bear. The bear scampered away, happy that his life was spared. Emmet cursed under his breath as his catch escaped and Jasper just stood where he was, staring Edward hard in the face. Ever since Edward left Forks, Emmet and Jasper always hunted with Edward, not just out of worry but to help him feel less alone, "You want us to what?" the giant yelped.

"We have to go back to Forks, I messed up." Edward said sullenly, "I just do-"

"Edward, we love you enough to root up our entire lives and leave because you could no longer face your boyfriend." Jasper said quietly, without any judgement in his tone, "Don't take advantage of this. We can't just go back and forth whenever you change your mind regarding important decisions." Don't take advantage of Harry like this either, he isn't a toy. He thought to Edward, catching his ashamed gaze for a fraction of a second.

"I know." Edward said to both statements, "But I really need to fix this!" He cried, sitting on the grass dejectedly, "This is important. And when I tell the rest of the family... I need you two to back me up. I can't easily convince them by myself."

Emmet squatted down, putting a heavy hand on Edward's shoulder, "You will never be alone, man, we'll help you."

"I just-" Edward hesitated, thinking about the words he would say, "I need to tell Harry that I lied, I love him more than anything."

"We all know how you feel about Harry," Jasper replied, sitting cross-legged next to Edward and wiping wolf blood from his lips. "And Harry did too, until you pulled this stunt."

"So you guys will back me up?" Edward asked, hope shining in his eyes.

"Of course man." Emmet said as Jasper nodded, "We will always have your back, but Alice will be pissed." he added, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yes," Jasper said wistfully, "Yes, she will be."

-

"I have something important to say." Edward said hesitantly to his family. Everyone was gathered around, Emmet stood by Rosalie, who was perched on the arm of the suede couch with a nail file to her nails, Alice was bouncing on the couch cushion, blissfully unaware to what was going to happen for a change, while Jasper stood tensely on the other side of the couch. Esme stood in the doorway, keeping an eye on whatever she was unnecessarily cooking, and Carlisle looked up from whatever book he was reading. Esme smiled sweetly, noting Edward's uncomfortable stance, "You can tell us anything, honey."

Edward took an unneeded breath, "We have to go back to Forks."

Silence. For about ten seconds before Alice unfroze, "WHAT?" Alice shrieked.

"The decision I made to leave Harry was rash and unfair." Edward sighed, "I have to correct the mistake I made before it's too late. Even now, Harry could be with someone else, or- or resent me too much to give me the time of day. I can't let that happen, he needs to know!"

"I think he already resents you too much." Rosalie said dryly, "I vaguely remember hearing Harry's sobs from the house." They all remember it. It was undignified pain they heard coming from the woods. Raw. Esme's heart lurched as his short cries were cut by soft whimpers. She knew there was something more to the mysterious and secretive boy. They never knew anything in depth about the boy. He was orphaned at 2, switching between being raised by an abusive family and attending boarding school until the year he moved to Forks, they knew he liked music, and strawberries. They knew superficial information. Harry was hesitant, skittish, paranoid, but they assumed he had nothing more to hide than the normal boy.

"I have to know for sure." Edward growled.

"This isn't fair!" Rosalie shouted, approaching Edward quickly in her stilettos, gearing to argue all night.

"We can't just root up and leave every year," Esme interrupted, her voice small with sadness, "It's hard sometimes, moving every five or so, I can't do just one year. Years may pass quickly for us, but all the more reason to move as little as possible. I miss the routine that came with being human. Decorating a home that would last for years and years. We did that in the '20's, you know? We stayed there."

Edward's face fell, Rosalie's steam faded, no one could argue with Esme's face like that.

"Esme." Edward said softly, "I promise, I won't do this again. I can't ask you to do this." he decided, "I'll go alone. I'll just act as if I'm visiting."

"Then what?"

"I don't know." He answered honestly, "It all depends on how this goes with Harry."

There was rarely a time that such silence occurred so often among the coven of seven.

"We'll go."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's funny how the most mismatched family can look so peaceful in the morning. Harry had Teddy, who was currently sporting pineapple-yellow hair, on his lap, gently spooning cereal into the bouncing child's mouth. Draco was laying his head on the table, next to the food that Harry prepared for him, groaning sleepily. Severus was leaning on the kitchen counter, next to the coffee pot, cradling a large cup of coffee in his hands. Hungover? No. Not a morning person? Yes!

It was pretty quiet, the only exception being Teddy's laughter and chewing, until an owl tapped at the window. Harry sat Teddy in his high chair and opened the window cautiously, recognizing the small tawny creature in uniform as a ministry owl. "Severus." Harry called softly, "Are we expecting anything from the ministry?"

"No." Severus mumbled, "Unless there is a pointless ball thrown in your honor or with the expectation of you to go and play politics."

"Huh. now I don't want to open it." he muttered, placing the envelope on the counter next to Severus, walking over to the table to get a piece of sausage for the owl. When presented, the owl snapped it up bowed its head and flew away in a flurry of feathers. Draco scoffed and picked up the discarded envelope, tearing it open, "Hey!" Harry shouted ,"That was addressed to me!"

"Please," Draco scoffed again, "You gave up all rights to the mail when you threw it down, scar-head."

"Haven't heard 'scar-head' in a while. " Harry commented dryly as Draco extracted the letter from the envelope.

"Dear Mr. Harry James Potter," Draco read.

"Please excuse the formalities enclosed in this notice. It seems as if the ministry had overlooked hundreds of violations during the war due to the infiltration of ministry staff by the death eaters. Most of these are being identified and corrected as you read this. You have committed several violations in the last 3 years, such as under-age unsupervised magic, apparating without a license,disrupting the underage track spell, and using several Unforgivables but all violations have been overlooked because it was recognized that the violations were due to the war effort. You will not be fined, put under investigation or subjected to trials unlike the others

because of this. However, it is required of you to correct one of your violations. In Forks, Washington, you showed your magical abilities in a place populated with muggles. We understand it was necessary because taking place wasa raid of death eaters sent by Voldemort but it is also very important this issue is seen to. Proper memory charms have been placed but there is still the question of your whereabouts. You must confirm you are alive and collect your belongings from the Forks' police station.  
Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic"

Harry's face had lost all colour by the time Draco had finished stiffly reading, Severus jerked out of his morning state, examining Harry worriedly. This silence was not comfortable. Draco and Severus held their breath as they watched the emotions flit across young man's face. Teddy, using his eighteen month old mind to decide that the room was too quiet, flipped over his bowl of cereal. It tumbled over the high table and, using his inhuman reflexes, landed in the palm of Draco's hand. The cereal, however, was spilled on the floor. That shook Harry out of his stupor. He smiled shakily, looking at his family, "Anyone fancy a re-location?"

A/N: Sorry it took so long and it's so short. Like I said, vacation. I came home to find my house a mess and the well supplying our water broken. It's somewhat fixed now but I'm such a mess! I need encouragement guys, I'm getting depressed :/ press the damn review button and send me a love letter.


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